Posted by: brittany marie | April 20, 2008

franz kafka was a loner

Originally, it was going to be myself and two other friends that were going to get together tonight and cook dinner. We wanted to hang out and we decided the previous night to do so while in the midst of a small get together for a friend’s twenty-first birthday. And then…things changed. Instead of three, we found that about seven other people were joining us.

But things worked out, as far as food and all. It was so spontaneous to have these people together and I loved it! Everyone mixed well. Everyone seemed to enjoy it. I’m not sure you can say that about a lot of parties, get-togethers, etc.

And even Friday night was beautiful, with people gathering at this one apartment to celebrate a good friend. There were brownies, games, tea, jokes, and good conversations. One conversation evolved around the topic of the Myers-Briggs test and what letters suited people better. I’ve taken the test before and my letters were ENTJ.

ENTJs are “Assertive and outspoken – they are driven to lead. Excellent ability to understand difficult organizational problems and create solid solutions. Intelligent and well-informed, they usually excel at public speaking. They value knowledge and competence, and usually have little patience with inefficiency or disorganization.”
[ according to http://www.personalitypage.com/high-level.html ]

Ask me two years ago and I would have argued until the moon turned blue that I was an introvert. An “I” instead of an “E.” I interpreted introvertedness, not as appreciation of alone time, but as a decided removal from people. I found an odd strength in being independent…in being the loner. That way, I didn’t need people. And I didn’t need the hurt and difficulties they caused. It’s the inexpressible draw of a care-free life…no worries…hakuna matata.

However, that’s not true.

Especially in this past week, I have found that what I consider a productive day isn’t a busied time of chores and task…it’s when I run into people and intersect their lives. It’s when I get to spend a good amount of time with someone and actually begin to know them.

So, maybe I’m not that strong loner type. I do value independence, but not loneliness. But could this be strength in itself? It doesn’t take half as much effort to remove ones self from the situation than it does to face that situation head on.

But I do like alone time…which I get at my office a lot and which I use to make weird things…like birds.

grace and peace.

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Responses

  1. Kafka wrote about people turning into giant bugs. Is that a result of being a loner?

    Sorry we didn’t stay for long last night…I heard it was good.


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